Enthusiasm

I’ve been getting better at pool. This evening after work Brian and I shot a few more rounds of pool and he gave me more pointers on my bridge and focusing on follow through. Right now I’m trying to focus on a clean shot on the ball then I think once that is motor memory I will focus on the delivery more. I have a hard time focusing on both and even if I could I wouldn’t improve unless I actively focused on just one. The ladies are coming up to the office in a bit and we’re going to shoot a few rounds before heading down to Kell’s.

Tonight Gnarsokar passed his trial of Blooding to be considered by the clan of elders as a full fledged blooded member of the clan. My bro had a hard time with a 41 rogue that let me tell you it was hard for even me to avenge his death with that little punk, but later to get his official “witnessed” kill, he slaughtered a 43 hunter not once, but twice. He made me proud seeing him pwn that newb.

So tonight’s plan was to go to Harvey’s and enjoy some comedy. Sean, Scott, Matt, Breonna, Kerrie, and myself were all going to be along for the fun, but as it turns out we didn’t make it into the club because I think there was some miscommunication on the time to get there. Instead we headed over to the Henry and shot some pool. Kerrie did REALLY well. I gave her some tips on elbow control and focusing on the shot. I ended up having a Tequila cocktail and an Apple-tinni and was feeling pretty mellow when Sean gave me an AMF. Let’s just say by the end of the night I was pretty f’ed up and Kerrie had to drive her, Breonna, and myself back to her place. Crashed at her place and slept on her couch. Good times.

So I was completely off base. Yes Breonna is a total tease but honestly she’s not what I want and she doesn’t want me. Honestly Kerrie is where I want to be and she wants to be with me. Last night I was brutally honest about how I felt with her and Jon and various other very complicated things that freaked me out. The whole Breonna thing was just an oddly timed case of misplaced emotions. We both had an eye opener to how much we really do care about each other. I made her cry which made me feel horrible. Then the 360 happened and the eye opener, we saw what was wrong, made up and we fucked like we never have before. It was honestly better in a way than the first time we had sex. We just had a VERY extended lunch with almost 2 hours of conversation about what we’re going to do. She and I know we are… no bullshit aside, no caring about what my xwife thinks… we know we are damn perfect for one another. But that means we aren’t rushing into any kind of relationship. We had a big talk about what bugs us about living situations (all the shit Eden and I always fought about). It was kind of scary because she had all kinds of solutions, ideas, and opinions about shit that bugged the crap out of me and is important to my living situation that even before I talked about it she brought it up and had a logical easy solution.

Going forward we’re going to date like crazy for the next few years and see if we can find someone better. We are both skeptical but we are going to give it our best go at it. We just don’t want doubts, we don’t want this to be a rebound for me, we want to be ourselves, be friends, and focus on ourselves, our carriers, and if our futures stay parellel then so be it. Then maybe down the road when she’s at the peak of her carrier and I am too with my house, her condo, my car paid off no debt, then maybe we can try living together and take it from there. One added bonus of doing a bunch of dating, we can on the side be brutally honest with what we hate about people and see if we see it in the other person and maybe find conflicts and resolutions to other issues.

Making a lot of progress on the data import of REManage to MRI. I should be completely done with the building table either tonight or tomorrow. Stress is lifting, time lines are stretching, all while we’re getting shit done!

So making a long story short, due to events over the last few days I’m back into my bitter, hating women stage again. I’m even more bitter than I was before because it’s like these events are just re-affirming my opinions of women and how the bullshit games that happen are just plain silly and a waste of time and energy. It’s no one woman’s fault (hell I partially blame myself for letting one particular woman get to me and fuck with my head), the women in my life I still think are great friends, but that doesn’t make me any less bitter about the female species.

So I’ve gotten sexually frustrated so hardcore over Breonna that if she doesn’t either stop or come out blatantly and tell me she’s 100% not interested in me, I swear next naughty thing she does I’m going to have to jump her bones. I’ve touched every inch of her legs, back, ass, chest, etc. The only things I haven’t are her breasts and her southern region, though I have to admit I got very close while exploring her legs. She’s so amazingly funny, vibrant, and goddamn sexy it’s like she’s a perfect woman. The worst part is that it’s hard to talk to Kerrie about this because instantly she’s competitive. I mean come on she’s going after Jon. She’s not really that interested in me and honestly it’s nothing negative against her but she and I aren’t the best fit. Back to B, she’s not negative and doesn’t have baggage like 99% of women. She’s even willing to sit back and learn about football while enjoying a steak sandwich. She and I went and saw Narnia and then afterward went back to Kerrie’s place and hung out on the couch while Kerrie macked on Jon. We have a similar sense of humor. I’m saying all this not because I want a relationship necessarily but rather she does have potential maybe sometime in the future. For now I’d just like to get to know her better… Biblically. The worst thing is she acts like she’s interested, flirts verbally like she’s interested, even had conversation like she’s interested… interested in what I don’t know; that’s the problem. Interested in teasing me till I go insane? Interested in a fuck buddy? Interested in a relationship? Interested in a one night stand? On the flip side we have Kerrie who is man possessive and I’m not sure how that’s playing in on it on both sides. Also… well if it sounds like I’m rambling you’ve gotten the point on how confused I am. Summary: She’s damn sexy, she acts like she wants me, I’m not sure if she does, I’m horny, etc, etc.

Edit: I’m a damn fool. Apparently she wasn’t even aware she was giving such mixed signals. Yet again the female race continues to be an unnecessary source of frustration in my life. Damn women…

Today I hung out all day long with Ray and Adam play Xbox360 games. It was really great being able to hang out with “my little bother”. Kinda odd to say because I never really felt that way toward him before. Before today I really just felt like he was “the brother of Ray’s wife” or “the brother of my sister in law”. I mean he’s my brother in law but he feels like the little brother I never had. I guess I’m feeling even younger these days and it’s nice he’s older now (freshman in High school), so it’s pretty cool to hang out with him, give him a hard time, and game with him. It’s good to have good family.

So today started around 9:00 with family breakfast at Ray and Carrie’s house with French Toast, sausage, and OJ. We proceeded to open presents and have all around merriment. I was pretty pleased because everyone seemed to love my gifts. I then took a nap because I was tired from the evening before and then met back up with the family at 3:30 at Mary/Peter/Adam’s house for Christmas day dinner. Of course the food was fantastic especially Mary’s famous Bacon/Cheese Potatoes and a new recipe for green beans. The rest of the evening was spent talking smack and shooting up each other at Ray’s house. Adam came over and we played Counterstrike CS1.6 until we passed out.

Aside from the fact than I’m sure Kerrie wouldn’t want an actual threesome, hey a man can dream can’t he? So, unfortunately I can’t say I had a threesome last night, though I really wish it was one. I was sleeping between 2 sexy womenz, Kerrie and Breonna and well I’m really not sure what to think. I mean Kerrie says that she doesn’t care if SexyB makes moves on me, but at the same time Kerrie is a woman and sometimes what they say is not what they mean. Also I’m not sure truly whether Breonna was honesty not interested in me, or maybe was she at least interested in messing around but was afraid of the Wrathe of Kerrie. I dunno, all I know is what little fooling around that DID happen, damn did it make me both a happy and horny man.