Enthusiasm

I was so blind from my eye exam. At least I passed everything eith flying colors. Not just the photo but also the peripheral vision test. Funny thing was that my vision didn’t change at all in the last 6 years or so since my last eye exam which apparently makes me a “perfect candidate” for Lasic surgery. I’m not sure if I could see myself without glasses though, I’ll have to think long and hard about it. I did order my new glasses, buy one get one free (one regular every day pair and one as polarized sun glasses). Both are smaller and square edged which according to Kerrie makes me look younger and more edgy. Along with my new Titanium ring and bracelet, it will help my image a lot.

So I’ve been told that my recent pictures are described as and I quote “scary”, “angry”, “pissed off”, “depressed”, “mad”, “about to punch someone”, and “about to cry”. This is rather unsettling because I don’t really want to portray these emotions non-verbally and even as I write this wonder if this is why sometimes when I make eye contact with people they seem scared. I’m a fun person who smiles a lot so I don’t know why these negative emotions come out through some of my facial expressions. Maybe I need to work on my “serious face” in front of the mirror. *sigh* I’m going to ask Kerrie if she can do a little photography for me to see if she can capture “the real me”.

The last two games before the Super Bowl where today. The Stealers beat the Bronkos and the Sea Hawks beat the Panthers. This is the first time in franchise history that Seattle is going to the super bowl. I might live in Portland but it’s damn exciting to see our sister city up North accomplish what they have this year. My brother and Carrie came over here to watch the game in Hi-Def. After the game we chilled in my room an played Madden 2006 on my Xbox360. The game is truly amazing and beautiful. The little details really make the game come to life and feel like a real football game.

Why am I surrounded by such negative people? I just ended a several hour conversation with my x-wife, Eden. The conversation started so amazingly positive talking about how she has her own online store now for selling her jewelry and how things are going well. Then like a thunder cloud rolled in, she started getting negative. She kept going on about how she isn’t independent and that somehow the way she treated me during the marriage is what prevents her from sleeping at night. Yes it was horrible but my issues as stated before in this journal are more deeply seeded than a relationship with any one person. She can’t go on blaming herself any more than I can’t continue to blame myself for the past. It’s just that, the past, so move on with your life and live in the NOW. I’ve done a lot of reprogramming just in the last two months and I’m not the same person anymore. I’m still Victor but I’m version 6.3. Developers are working hard on feature enhancements to release v8.0 by 2006 Holiday Season.

Well it’s the weekend and I have way too much free time so of course I’m spending it in self reflection. I’ve been thinking a lot more about myself, my goals, my friends and today’s big dilemma is again a deep seeded part of my social programming that I need to change. The infamous “they” always say “When it comes to friends: Quality over Quantity”. I think in a way this is true later in life, but I think when your life changes enough that your base of friends changes artificially due to change in work, a move, end of school, etc, I think you can’t focus on the small quantity you may have left. The problem is that you become so focused on that small quality you don’t meet more people and start to ignore faults in the small quantity you have, artificially creating a sense of quality. In summary I think that I need to switch to a quantity way of thinking at least for a while because if I gather I large group of friends I can selectively choose to maintain a good number of quality ones. Again no serious insult to my current friends, it’s just that sometimes we’re in the mood to do different things and there are things in life that are just more fun to share with good friends.

I was randomly selected this week to win an iBall from Oregon Scientific from those people who got their perfect play lists played. It’s completely cool and something that is nice because I can plug it into my computer at home and it’s a remote speaker system up to 100 feet away (aka the gym and my bedroom). Also once I get my iPod I can use it as my base unit/charger. I of course thanked Gustav personally via AIM for my prize and after giving him some info like my address and SSN, they will have my iBall ready for pickup on Monday.

A study at the Biomechanics Lab at San Diego State University looked at a variety of common abdominal exercises in order to determine what really works. The study compared 13 abdominal exercises, ranging from the traditional crunch to more complicated activities, using at-home and gym equipment. The top exercise was:

Bicycle maneuver
Lie flat on the floor with your lower back pressed to the ground. Put your hands beside your head. Bring your knees up to about a 45-degree angle and slowly go through a bicycle pedal motion. Touch your left elbow to your right knee, then your right elbow to your left knee. Breath evenly throughout the exercise.

I’ve learned from the past: A. I can’t maintain working out in the morning B. I do a lot of thinking while I workout at night C. Friday and Saturday half the time I crash at a friend’s house or otherwise am too tired to workout after I get home. So here is the new workout plan I know I will be successful at sticking to and currently it’s working.

I ordered this yesterday and it should be here tomorrow or Friday. Very cool, I’ve been wanting something unique and I think this just about hits the spot. I also ordered a replacement cartridge for when it runs out. David D. recommends the space pens because they always write perfect and they are so unique they are usually by themselves able to spark conversation.

I’m in an odd mood. Maybe I want to go out and meet people. Maybe I’m just in the mood to have dinner out and enjoy a cup of coffee sitting on my laptop at the 24H Starbucks in Beaverton. I’m not sure but I do know I don’t want to be home right now. I’ve yet to find anything entertaining to do. All I do know is I’m hungry. After dinner I’ll probably feel better and hit Starbucks for a while. Maybe till midnight or possibly later.

EDIT: Feeling great after some good Italian food, chilling at Starbucks right now enjoying a 1% Venti Vanilla Latte. I got the comfiest chair in the place in the corner where I can sit, listen to my music, and people watch. MWUhahaha