Dec 28 2005
360 Degrees
So I was completely off base. Yes Breonna is a total tease but honestly she’s not what I want and she doesn’t want me. Honestly Kerrie is where I want to be and she wants to be with me. Last night I was brutally honest about how I felt with her and Jon and various other very complicated things that freaked me out. The whole Breonna thing was just an oddly timed case of misplaced emotions. We both had an eye opener to how much we really do care about each other. I made her cry which made me feel horrible. Then the 360 happened and the eye opener, we saw what was wrong, made up and we fucked like we never have before. It was honestly better in a way than the first time we had sex. We just had a VERY extended lunch with almost 2 hours of conversation about what we’re going to do. She and I know we are… no bullshit aside, no caring about what my xwife thinks… we know we are damn perfect for one another. But that means we aren’t rushing into any kind of relationship. We had a big talk about what bugs us about living situations (all the shit Eden and I always fought about). It was kind of scary because she had all kinds of solutions, ideas, and opinions about shit that bugged the crap out of me and is important to my living situation that even before I talked about it she brought it up and had a logical easy solution.
Going forward we’re going to date like crazy for the next few years and see if we can find someone better. We are both skeptical but we are going to give it our best go at it. We just don’t want doubts, we don’t want this to be a rebound for me, we want to be ourselves, be friends, and focus on ourselves, our carriers, and if our futures stay parellel then so be it. Then maybe down the road when she’s at the peak of her carrier and I am too with my house, her condo, my car paid off no debt, then maybe we can try living together and take it from there. One added bonus of doing a bunch of dating, we can on the side be brutally honest with what we hate about people and see if we see it in the other person and maybe find conflicts and resolutions to other issues.